"For one thing it doesn't match. This 'stache is nearly black but the rest of your upholstery is kind of dark brown."
"Makes you look, I dunno, vaguely Semitic... Jewish, Italian, Greek, Palestinian, something sensual. When in fact you're another one of those tight-assed Protestants. It's like false advertising."
Urquhart smiled with his new moustache. "Look who's talking, Running Blonde the Cherokee Madonna."